Today I was just practicing my new walking skills out in the living room, when a giant alien machine jumped out and bit me on the face. Mommy said it was an elliptical machine, but it didn’t look round to me.
Mommy tried to save me. We ran away in the car and hid in a small boring room for, like, 15 hours. But the aliens must have found us, because next thing you know I was being held down by no less than FOUR people and probed by shadowy creatures with masks and bright spotlights.
I fought with all my might and screamed and kicked to get away, but they were too strong. When I grow up, I’ll be big like Daddy and KICK THEIR BUTTS! They tied me up and jammed needles in my face over an over again. You know, I’m still learning a lot about this world. I admit I don’t know everything. But I was born knowing this much: needles do not belong in your face!
Mommy finally rescued me and we went back home again, but I’m gonna have to stay up all night to watch out for those elliptical aliens again.
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